Women have been indoctrinated to talk about their emotions all their life.Men were taught to ‘be a man’, ‘toughen up’, ‘don’t show your emotions’. I have been picking and dating men who are not available – emotionally or legally. I recognize it but I can’t figure out how to fix it. I’ve dated 2 men who were separated and I wasn’t sure if it was a pattern. It’s different when you know them in real life through social groups like meetup (where I met my ex).

stop dating emotionally unavailable men-6

I honestly have no idea what motivates you for choosing these guys, CD.

They’ve been unhappy for so long that they fall in love with the first woman who is cuter or nicer than their wives, only to realize that they’re not ready for the responsibility that comes with real commitment – especially when they’re not even out of their last commitment yet. I couldn’t say whether you are desperate or have weak boundaries.

Now that I'm in a healthy relationship, I look back at all my past relationships and realize what B. She's single because she hasn't met the right guy yet.

And yet most women who are actively dating have had the accusation lobbed their way.

"The first time I heard it was my sophomore year of college, when I kept falling for guy friends who were more interested in building relationships with their new frat bros than with me," recalls Elizabeth, a 31-year-old editor in New Castle, New York.

But isn't falling for people who aren't quite right for you just … "If women are looking for a long-term commitment, they might have to date a lot of guys first before they find one who's in the same place," points out Joanne Davila, Ph D, a professor of clinical psychology at Stony Brook University who studies healthy relationship skills and is coauthor of .

In my book, I use the term "emotional chasing" because that's exactly what it is: a chase.

First, I’ll give you a sense of what it looks like to fall for an emotionally unavailable man.

They don’t always know how to express their emotions.